Learning to admit I’m weak
On day 82 of crossing America barefoot I travelled from Lee FL to Madison FL...
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I woke up next to a door. The door was next to a brick. The brick was a part of a jesus thing. I packed my things and then found a power outlet to charge my phone.
The power outlet mostly sat there and let me plug things into it without preaching about god or anything.
After the sun rose I saw a man climb out of an RV parked behind the church. He walked over and asked if I wanted some prayers. I shrugged. The man touched my shoulder and gave me some prayers.
I thought about giving him some prayers but instead I just tried to not sweat on him.
I couldn’t find cell reception in the area but as I was passing the public library I noticed some people sitting outside on the benches with their laptops. I walked over and touched the wifi.
I think this was the first wifi I had touched in 2017.
A man without a shirt ran by. He seemed to be working on his new years resolutions maybe.
I heard about a guy on the internet who decided not to move the entire year and rely completely on a family of turtles to feed him.
I found a lot of things on the side of the road including a wrench, a screw toucher, a paper towel tube, some plastic flowers, and John’s insurance card.
I also found some more half empty bottles of water leaking into the destruction of humanity.
My legs hurt. The parts attached to my ankles seemed in very rough shape. I could feel my calves quietly saying, “inflamation,” over and over. I thought, “I can’t wait to eat some blackberries.”
My body doesn’t know what to do with itself when I don’t feed it fruits and berries.
When I arrived in Madison I found a supermarket. I’ve decided to start a new practice of checking the dumpsters for discarded fruits and vegetables before entering supermarkets. The dumpsters behind this grocery store were empty. Some people gave me weird looks when I walked back around front.
I should be the one giving society weird looks for wasting so much perfectly good food.
After I bought a sack full of berries and fruits I sat on a bench next to the entrance and ate fruits and berries from my sack while I listened to a podcast.
In the podcast a guy said, “Everyone wishes it only took four minutes to do all the money but it’s probably going to take more than four minutes because money likes to pretend it is worth the effort
When I was about halfway through a bag of grapes I heard someone call my name. I looked up. A bearded person was walking towards me. At first I thought it was someone maybe angry I had been looking in dumpsters behind the supermarket. Then I realized it was my friend Matt.
I’m pretty sure if a friend randomly shows up in the middle of Florida to give you a hug then you are required to finish whatever journey you are on.
The two of us sat on the bench eating prunes and vegan chocolate. A couple hours passed. We talked about all the things people talk about in Madison Florida: philosophy, french activism, brother who used to dance at strip clubs, “innovation,” all the things killing the world, adjunct labor practices, and the overall luck and stupidity of any tech startup that “makes it.”
I can’t tell what made my legs feel better: talking to someone or eating blackberries.
When I was alone again I continued walking. It was now dark. A man walked out from a small cluster of trees holding a pair of shoes. I thanked him but continued walking without the shoes. I passed another grocery store and checked the dumpster. There was only some expired milk products.
It’s weird how dumpsters are consider a good place to dispose of food that hasn’t been eaten yet.
The road was mostly empty. As I walked I came to the reality I was a weak human being. It was comforting to be honest with myself. This honesty made me confident I’d grow into the kind of warrior I would need to become if I was going to finish this journey. For the first time I felt like I was beginning to understand what I’d need to become if I was truly going to conquer the environmental and climate injustices currently facing humanity.
Please donate. I am raising awareness about climate change with this walk. All the money raised goes to a great environmental organization called the FANG Collective: youcaring.com/barefoot
What I ate on day 82: Pineapple, flaxseed powder, canned beets, prunes, vegan chocolate, bananas, grapes, watermelon, dates, strawberries, blackberries, spinach, and cantaloupe.
A poem
A man / holding a roll / of / paper towels / thought / I am weak / and / it’s okay / weakness / is / a quiet pile / of / information / shoved in a dark hole / do not ignore / your weakness / drag it out / and / look at it / through the teardrops / leaking / from / your vulnerability / until / your weakness understands / it / is not permanent / small insignificant objects / can grow / into / a forest / of / honest desperation / to become / one / of / thousands / of / trees / fighting to exist / as something more than / paper goods / consumed / by adults / hiding from their own / pain / and / fears
If you're interested in my previous journey across America check out the book: I am a road.
barefootacrossamerica.com
